Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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