it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
