I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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