Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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