bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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