can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
