were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I want to fling myself into the sun
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
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