So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Randomize
