i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
