This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
