you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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