I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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