I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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