well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
