Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
