We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
