How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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