She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
