So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Randomize
