walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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