I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
