chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
