You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
