Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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