DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
