So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
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