no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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