Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
