How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize