Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Drunk is a universal language darling
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