she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
