I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
