She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
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