the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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