Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
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