you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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