so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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