He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
