I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
