hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
