Where is the hickey?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
