my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
