I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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