Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I intend to get homeless drunk
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
