you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Never let your siblings swipe right.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
