This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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