it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
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