just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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