Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
