He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
