Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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